it's gonna be a chat room kind of night
Facebook is used to stalk your friends, Twitter is used to stalk celebritie=s, and Myspace is used to stalk underaged girls. Everything else is porn. T=he Internet in a nutshell.
I checked into jail on foursquare
We'll both be dead in approximately 72-96 hours, with you bringing your liver out of retirement again, Favre.
4 months of living in europe has taught me the art of making a drunken stumble look like a dance move
His penis will pick the quickest route to vagina. it's like an biological onstar.
the creek. my friends left me at a party next thing i know im in a breaststroke relay race with a bunch of randos in the dark
Maybe before the beach I should get a tracking chip in my arm.
I feel that it is my duty to the human race to invent a colon squeegy
What's your ideal size in a man?
I just asked if you could cover my shift tomorrow......
New guy at work just gave me a Percocet for my headache. Officially best friends
Then he kissed my hand sensually and said "you're a Black Queen. Don't let anyone tell you different."
Yep that's the face of someone whose dick I would put in my mouth without hesitation
I thought it turned out lovely. You got to see me almost naked and I got to be stoned to the point I was content with
Wtf when were you almost naked??
He may be a manwhore, but he’s a very well endowed manwhore
That’s an important feature when it comes to a manwhore
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