I just had sex with a black guy. He told me I had a big dick. I think that's God's way of saying it's okay to be gay.
Coffee flavored vodka sounded like such a good idea at the time. Now i never want to drink coffee again.
just paid a stripper to have a minute conversation about the arizona game WTF
What do you mean when you say no pre-party sex?
you do realize eating doritos and gatorade as a breakfast hangover cure is only acceptable for one more month - then we have to grow up
can you explain how you are here for one night and now my kitchen table is in 11 pieces..
At what point should i just give my brother a break and stop sleeping with his friends?
another part of my inner child died when i emptied my crayon bank for dollar beer night.
the kid throwing up and laying face down on the deck just asked ME if I'M okay...
she trying to cartwheel up the stairs... not going so well
I can't believe you're asking me to think of a sincere, creative way to apologize to your penis at 2 am.
Every time I burp I plan an escape route because I'm scared I'm gonna puke on grandma
Currently looking up Winnie-the-Pooh porn.
We watched Purple Rain and then proceeded to have sex while listening to the album. If that's not exactly how Prince would want people to honor him, I don't know what is
My thoughts mid terrible hookup: do people normally read a magazine right about now?
Randomize
