batman just walked across the sidewalk
lay off the drugs
no for real he was wearing a cape
living well may be the best revenge, but it doesn't hurt that my exhusband is now dating a BEAST.
I didn't want to talk to him so I just started telling him how important Jesus was to me
dude there's automatic no homos on brad Pitt and Leonardo dicaprio. Everyone knows that
There was a punch bowl full of straight vodka. Glass bowl, ladle, vodka, and no punch at all. It was something of a rough night
I woke up to a gnawing sound in the middle of the night and asked him what it was. He told me it was the family of squirrels that lives in the wall and to go back to sleep.
Not going outside. I may melt into a puddle of wine
Russell brand is gross. Everytime I see him I just wanna give him a bath. He's like a used condom.
They were loudly fucking last night and there was way too much conversation involved. It wasn't even dirty talk, it was more like "your doing it wrong" talk
Btw... when someone is licking your balls, "yeah... that's not the worst thing in the world" is not an appropriate compliment/thank you.
He doesn't want a full on relationship, he provides me with all the weed I can handle and gives me multiple mind blowing orgasms. He's my soul mate.
Well if you don't want to be kicked out before last call don't I would suggest stop drinking whiskey and don't call the giant bouncer with the neck tattoo "princess"
WHO ARE THESE GUYS WHY AN ORGRY ON A MONDAY LMAO
Shia LaBeouf arrested in austin for public intoxication. JUST DO IT
Hold on I'll be right there, I can't find my arm.
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