Making out with married ex girlfriends: priceless
Her best guy friend really had a thing for her all along.... Now we're back together and he's gone Dawson's Creek with his away messages.
I just took boredom to a whole new level. I just auto-tuned and remixed today's western civ lecture
Night out in new white coat = success. Offered free breast exams all night, two took me up on it, woke up with one. I love medical school!!!
I say we get drunk before the exam tomorrow. At least then we have a valid excuse for failing.
That's fun. I just masturbated and I swear my vagina creaked.
I think I need to donate blood to see if I have Hepatitis. Again.
Can I just say I love that you have a kegorator on your wedding registry?
Its ok. Im having a low day. About to mix cake mix with milk and drink it.
I think his roommates are using word magnets to tell me that they can hear us. His fridge currently says, "Chris ate out naughty girl."
I'm gonna write a book. Almost Awesome: all the times I ALMOST got laid.
I had my room mate call my phone after last night and it was in an uncooked quesadilla
I think I'm just going to go like every guy on tinder who has a jetski. I'm doing this for us, Summer is coming.
I never thought it would be so hard to find a power hour partner at 2 on a Wednesday
My vagina is very pro this idea
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