I really think my calling is to star in a Live Links commercial
he was in the bathroom singing "will it floooaaat?? will it floooaaat?!" turns out that's a deal breaker for me.
Don't worry about later. I already pre-ordered a pizza for a 1:45 delivery and told them to ignore any calls from your number.
You're getting good at this, you know that?
can you call in chlamydia to work? like if the antibiotics they gave you for it are giving you the shits...
hey quick question, what would you consider to be a "first date" porn?
and hes going back to rehab like me, so we have common interests
We pulled over so he could pee and the next thing I know he's running down the hill by himself with his pants down
This is irresponsible on your part, leaving me alone in a bar.
she has like 12 pairs of underwear people left at her house from the other night
Discovered a freckle on my clitoris. What have you done today?
Also I like this area. Lots of places for me to get tacos.
im glad im back to a point in my life where i have enough sex to sometimes be offered and be like naw im good.
I don't want random pictures of your morning wood. It's like, what a glorious morning oh a penis.
I woke up to a stripper (who added me on Facebook) messaging me reminding me to cancel my card if I can't find it
eh, I feel I'm heading for a breakdown and I need to get it out of the way before I start writing that lab report.
Randomize
