OMG - This guy with a mullet just told me - it wasn't a mullet - but his hair dresser layered it wrong. It's so walmart in here. I hate you.
Just saw the liqour store owner get into a mercedes, almost proud to be responsible for that
you were so high that you made a 14 page PowerPoint on why Santa would beat Peter pan in a fight.
and I must say, you were very persuasive
It wasn't a wasted relationship. I got road-head in an Escalade. I still keep that with me.
he was playing drums on rock band as i poured bailey's into his mouth. tell me that's not a bonding moment.
he tried to convince me he was a seal.. sound effects included. and then asked me to 'be his lady seal'.
My fridge broke, and apparently the back is missing. The repair guy just fixed it with a pizza box. I didn't ask where the box came from, but it wasn't mine. Reason #20 why rent is cheap.
I used that money i stole from the stripper last night to pay for my date tonight.
Logically he should not be walking around...after that fall he should be in a hospital in a medically induced coma
So his 25th anniversary post of love to his wife was almost verbatim what he said to me last week. Does that mean I win or lose?
Gay?
German.
Pity.
this is a PSA to never have sex in a bed from ikea
lol hangovers are for mortals.
It's days like today that make me happy I'm not a porn star.
No you just wanted to pass out in your hallway because your room was too far away
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