I wish i could put a picture of my ass of my resume...that seems to be the only way i will ever get hired
i just walked downstairs to find my brother wearing a crossingguards vest and boxers. when i asked him where he got it he just looked at me, smiled, and kept feeding the dog yogurt
I wish the ER had shaved that part of my head. It would be easier to show people my staples at the bar.
I ended up with a bullet proof vest and I still don't know his last name.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
he's measuring my pool to see how much jello powder he needs. He got paid today.
Way too stoned bro. Was laying down on my back and thought for a good 30 mins what it would be like to be a turtle stuck on its shell
I'm laying in bed listening to Purple Rain on repeat. If you wanna bone, come up, but if not, at least Prince understands me.
Come to find out, there is a place where binge drinking and aggressive head butting is completely appropriate. In a mosh pit, Travis is just a regular dude!
We were sitting outside of the building and he literally just walked up with no pants on. This is the best college ever
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now Heโs Upset Because People Told His Mom
DOUBLE NIPPLE PIERCINGS ARE HORRIFYING
And that kids is the last time I ever try to outdrink Germans
Is it possible to hurt your vagina working out, because I think my Dumbass accomplished that... ๐ฏ๐๐๐
Do I even want to know?
I never thought I'd say this but there's too many dicks around here.
They cut me off when I tried to pee in the corner of the bar.
I think she lost me at about the point where the words โIce Cream Enemaโ were spoken.
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