last week i woke up at this guys house...this week i woke up at his ex girlfriends
dude just tell them you don't wear clothes. they'll understand
Just saw a woman with a Pomeranian in her bra. Way to step up your game Seattle.
New level of high: If I could bathe in my salsa right now I would.
How many layers of skin can you loose before it becomes bad?
It was a deal breaker when she told me not to wear a condom and god would decide if we were meant to be together.
I remember desperately screaming that I love my life and running in zig zags all the way home
My bruised ribs were so worth that win in beer pong
Just got blown in a rental car. I need to get rear ended more often
He is currently pregaming mini golf. MINI GOLF.
When you and that girl went into the bedroom, you yelled "FOR NARNIA!"
I wish we could all take a bath together. Not in a lesbian way. But in a relaxing drunk in the tub sort of way.
I lost the right to judge tonight
Just ate Panda Express. Fortune cookie had no fortune in it. I actually prefer this. Less broken dream potential.
so i went over to her house and we played crash bandicoot, ate calzones, and had sex all day. im in love.
Randomize
