Is it possible to jerk off a nipple?
I'm at a party with that guy you made out with on new years. He remembers your name!
i convinced her that her period would come back if we did it doggy style
Swear. I think after passing out in a community college parking lot I can safely nominate myself for the piece of shit of the year award
I used to practice getting hit by cars.
you could never motorboat her...you'd have to motor-titanic her
I bet. I bought a surfboard and a kite and filled my camelback with vodka-tonics. Let's do this
i got a standing ovation for bringing skittles to the party
I slept with him that night and I'm not sure if my lack of enthusiasm was obvious but I found him eating ice cream in the bathtub the next morning. Mom will be so proud.
The bar tenders gave me the number for a "taxi"... It's just a dude with a van. In retrospect, pretty sketchy. Robert was cool though.
Those tiny little fruit fly looking mofos. They fly past the phone and I grabbed them like Daniel-San
This amicable friendliness is dull. We either need to start fighting or fucking around. I'll even let you pick.
Eh. Fuck him. He's missing out. I'm legit naked and drinking straight from the bottle of wine.
We grabbed as many adult diapers as we could and made a run for it.
My ex's new gf is pregnant and he is sterile, so 2016 is starting off well.
Randomize
