another moral hangover. fuck.
It's Friday. Sex?
I tried to pay my bar tab with my gym membership card. Twice.
did you hook up at the wedding?
No but I jerked off on the hotel sheets. I wanted to get my moneys worth.
Whoa, Gary Coleman died
Whatchu talkin bout?!?!
Too soon.
What's the point of having 3 fuck buddies when their periods all seem to sync up
WHAT THE FUCK. SUCH A BAD IDEA. YOU'RE NO LONGER IN CHARGE OF NOSE SUBSTANCES.
well, the two that sent pics I've already been with, so at least its not just BAM HERE'S MY PENIS IN YOUR INBOX ENJOY THOSE MEGAPIXELS
I swear I can feel something in my uterus. Like, I can feel his sperm searching for an egg. Wtf...
Wow it must be so difficult to be as popular as you are and smoke as much weed as you do
we were making out in my truck and while she was straddling me she informs me that she jerks off horses for a living. Should I be concerned or flattered?
Pulling on my sock literally just took me 5 minutes.. The hangover is real
im in DESPERATE NEED OF A COMPANION RIGHT NOW I’M MOTHER FUCKING TRIPPING SOLID GOLD BALLS
like, there should be nothing wrong with me wanting to watch you put on a bikini and roll around in a kiddie pool of jello
Listen, you eat the donut. I eat you out. Everybody wins.
Randomize
