i guess that's what happens when you find your girlfriend at the zoo
I literally stabbed myself so I had a valid reason to get out of having sex with her
tuesday night obama will do an address about the oil spill at 8... it'll only be about 15 minutes... but i think thats plenty of time for a drinking game. key words "oil" "bp" and "responsibility"?
Fuck yes. Let's make bingo cards.
just shottied a beer can with a pumpkin carver. i love October.
Saturday dinner is funfetti cake and merlot. Singlehood has come to this.
Makin mac and cheese without you. Definitely seem to do this better inside you. Splashed boiling water on my cock
Listen. You seriously only live once... there aren't that many cinco de mayos left until someone knocks u up and u have to have a shotgun wedding. Man up.
Putting a positive pregnancy test next to my condoms in my drawer so I remember why I always need to use condoms
I am stoned and listening to the Olympics music I downloaded on Saturday. Best 6 dollars I have ever spent.
gona look into getting a tetanus booster and carrying an adrenaline shot...its going off this weekend
we got kicked out of her coke dealer's house when we wouldn't stop quoting "a league of their own"
communist
If that orgasm indicates how the rest of the year is going to go, I need to buy rain boots.
Baked goods and tits. Hard to go wrong there.
Please tell me I did not drink enough whiskey to think that having sex with my boyfriend while his best friend was on the floor next to us was a good idea.
It's so weird fucking this kids aunt then going to the gym with him everyday, but my sick minded self loves it.
Randomize
