hey im gonna send you a picture of my dinner
if its a picture of your dick again we are no longer friends
WHY DIDN'T ANYON E TELL ME SHE WAS SIXTEEN
someone, somewhere in austin has to have a muppet
You wanted to speak to the manager of mcdonalds as to why a "bag of cheeseburgers" isn't a menu option.
this study room smells like vodka
the study room thinks the same about you
dude, i have to cancel tonight, my neighbor just bought a goat
you said you wanted to feel how much my penis weighed for educational purposes
I think I was using my hair to catch my vomit last night.
You were.
I feel like a pizza delivery girl of vagina tho
He just kept mumbling that he was too drunk for society and then he peed in a bush
Its 8 in the morning and I wouldn't pass a breathalyzer test, How's your day been?
Something must have happened, they started yelling truffle butter and you said we needed to leave NOW
I didn't want to fight, I just wanted to tell you to fuckoff.
dude igloo, 4 foot bong, and 3 grams of blue dream. will you be my eskimo buddy?
I don't think there's a ladylike way to tell this guy I want to sit on his face
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