Im so hungover that my 6 year old cousine made me aspirine and coffee out of playdoh...
THEY HAVE A VOMIT TROUGH.
What?
A TROUGH FOR VOMIT.
Until last night, I had never actually thrown up ON a sandwich
Sorry but i am wayy to hungover to take mom to her AA meeting.
Wont she be proud, Hailey.
Some girl just showed me her stretch marks
You need to get out of tn
I just high fived you brother at the bar then immediately realized my hands smell like your vagina
Your vase full of piss was still at his house and he still doesn't know.
Lesson learned. Don't roleplay with a real knife.
Yeah. I couldn't figure out why my toes hurt. Apparently, the guy I was dancing with, kept running them over with his wheelchair.
Dude your life.. At your sugar daddies house sending nudes to your fwb
He threw up on my head while I was blowing him, and then I started barfing, and the kitchen floor was a mess. Believe me, he will never, ever live this down.
The perfect man would keep a whisky sour in my hand and give me endless sex. I really don't think that's too much to ask for.
There might be a dead possum in your bed, your roomate is extremely distressed!
He had a tattoo of a crown above his penis. He was AMAZING! It was well deserved. LONG LIVE THE KING!
You know that we wouldn’t even be talking about all this if you would have kept your candy consumption judgement comments to yourself.
Randomize
