He woke me up by trying to shove oreos in my mouth. im ready to go home now
...she's taking her top off and singing songs from Anastasia. I swear to God were solumates.
i just walked by a road side game of beer pong? it's gonna be a long day
Handle of 100 proof captain dressed like a pilgrim here we go
i just kept saying he was red & i was blue and we couldnt become purple. I started crying at one point
If I don't come back from Italy with aids I did somethign wrong
I am assuming I was his dirty Mardi Gras mistake and I can live with that
we didnt even have break up sex...
you had it for us with someone else...
my roommate is sobbing and looking at photos of elephants. i'm so confused.
You insisted we help some homeless guy put up posters for his missing pet alligator so we left you there because they were really just Chinese takeout menus.
I walked in her room to find her rubbing lotion on her face high as fuck.
I could probably be laying here naked and he'd still be more interested in this thunderstorm
7% of guys ive been with can get me off... I did the math!
does having sex with an episode of House playing in the background count as studying for my MCAT?
I’ve basically been controlling him with my tits for months now, so I can’t even imagine what would happen if I start banging him
Randomize
