This guy sitting next to me just bought a plot of land off the internet. On a whim. In the middle of class
why doesnt he love me? i have tried everything. i even sang to him after sex.
you have got to be kidding?
i woke up to my roommate spraying cooking spray on my legs. fourth time this has happened. not cool.
You better have your party panties on Saturday!
Why only Saturday?
Well I have an AA meeting Sat morning so I'm going to try to take it easy Fri.
yeah...i noticed he pets people when he's drunk. It's odd.
She broke both of her ankles trying to jump off the balcony. it's like every time she drinks she makes even more impressively bad decisions than the last time
He says he won't get serious until he screws an Asian and a virgin. I should just place an ad on Craig's List
Wanted: female 18-24 of Asian or partial Asian descent to fuck my ginger boyfriend. Must be willing and able to fake virginity. No emotional connection needed, just sex, just once. Further contact post sex not needed (or particularly desired)
I'm glad I get the same reaction from you for cookies and for my naked body
"willing to pay anyone fun whos willing to hang out and laugh at my jokes while my friends are MIA" is this to desperate?
Seriously, this apartment is covered in body glitter. This chick musta been a huuuuuge slut. How do you get it across every surface?
Do you have any forwarding contact info?
I'm pretty sure that I drunkenly used the phrase "I just want his beard all over my body" way too many times last night.
Just threw up in the shower. Hangovers at 23 are the best.
That awkward moment when you are on your way to ICU and the only sympathy gift you can think of is beer and whiskey
I am at a cat party and I just witnessed people lapping vodka out of a bowl for a contest. Lol
condom fairy costume came in handy...we were making out in my living room and he wanted it so i took a condom off the costume and we did it right there...with my tutu still on....
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