come downstairs quick. our boyfriends are having a dance off in nothing but their underwear and shoes. and they have semis too.
Getting 10 cents back for every can is really just encouraging alcoholism.
I think her nose is broken... but I think she's just drunk enough to fall for the whole "sex releases endorphins, so it'll feel better" line.
It feels wrong to have dick mouth at a family dinner.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
to whom it may concern. if i am dead in colleens bed it is not her fault i slept in my scarf. my dads middle name is ronald.
I was masturbating in my bed this morning when my ipod alarm went off and it started playing "show me the meaning of being lonely"
i just wanna get shit faced and pass out in some random holly bush with a bucket on my head and stockings for shoes.
We were suposed to have a 3some in their bathroom but it just turned into us 2 making out while he watched like a little kid on christmas morning
I HAVE to find her. I've got a pretty decent pic of her footprint on my headboard. Wonder if I can get one of the podiatry majors to help?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It's like your tits told gravity 'fuck you, I'm fine right here!'
I'm supposed to nail the old lady at 1:30 so I'll see you at 1:35ish.
I'M CUDDLING WITH MY CAT AND THAT GUY SENT ME A DICK PIC. UNANNOUNCED DICK PICS ARE TERRIFYING AND MY CAT WILL NEVER BE THE SAME
I met my future wife last night. She's a bombshell from Delaware, hates Trump, and humiliated two old men in a GOP healthcare debate while simultaneously convincing them to pick up both of our bar tabs.
I've realized that drinking at your apartment alone on a Tuesday probably isn't a good thing.
scale of one to ten how loathsome is it to save my chocolate easter bunny to use for a topping on my edibles
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