Oral text is very safe with the right protection.
he just flicked a booger into my mouth and shouted "goaaaal!"
I hope I don't blackout because this is awesome!
Hit a parked car with a "property of Jesus Christ" bumper sticker. Wrote out five hail mary's and left it on the windshield.
I just added 'steal mom's xanax' to my to do list for when I go home for Easter.
It'll be like the burning bush except without moses and with pubes.
Is "when in doubt date the guy with the bigger dick" a good philosophy?
You know you're hung-over when you're smoking and have the strong urge to eat the cigarette. No more buckets of gin. No. More. Ever.
I have poison ivy on my dick
WHAT
We get drunk and make out in different places. Is that what love is?
Got 2 free lines of blow from some random guys on the side of 13th street.....how's your Sunday going?
And I got shut down by a ginger. It was a weird night
There we go, I shall begin my attempt to achieve whore status today
walk of shame across osu's campus on game day. i can see all the spots i threw up last night. its like my personal yellow brick road.
woke up to find a case of beer in the oven and a random puppy in the house...guess i had a party last night?
Randomize
