dude i was like still drunk, taking pictures of her while she was naked and asleep and she woke up
haha what'd she say
i don't know man, something about us dating. but i never talked to her sober so i said i was making breakfast and snuck out of her house. close calls man WTF
whatever. i fb stalked him and his pic comments are witty. so i'm going for it.
you ever get that eerie feeling when you walk in a room, when you know youve barfed here before.
i dont care if it was her birthday. if she leaves me with a half rack of budweiser and her boyfriend obviously shits gonna go down.
You have proved your worthiness to join me on the quest of taking shots at every academic building on campus by showing up drunk to our test at 12:30 today
I brought his matress to the living room we're laying on it listening to rick james drinking vodka
I loved your drunken rendition of "I wanna dance with somebody" that you left on my voicemail last night.
I have discovered that there is nothing that a giant penis attached to a southern accent can't talk me into. yee-haw!
I think we should bring back the casual nipple tassel
Yeah, my new jeep also came with custom license plates that read 4SKIIN. Not "4 skin" but "4 skiing" thanks mom and dad
He deadlifted me and I came just a little at the apex
So... How much of our rent is drug money?
I spilled a whole plate of queso and salsa on my bed so I'm just eating it off my sheets with chips. How's your night going?
Can I just go to one establishment in which I haven't banged anyone ?
We had sex in Lake Michigan for an hour Sunday.
Thanks for ruining an entire lake for me. I hate you so much right now.
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