i overslept, had to take a cab to the train station, might puke, bought the wrong flavored vitamin water, and mj's dead. what a terrible world to wake up to.
So what's the moral of this story? Aside from 'lesbians hold grudges'?
I told her at least we still had each other. That's when she started crying.
I'm on strict orders from her to keep sleeping with you until you give her a job next summer.
I stayed at the bar and helped clean up cause I was told I'd get free shots. Didn't happen.
I brought his matress to the living room we're laying on it listening to rick james drinking vodka
Judge me all you want, but while you are stuck at home eating Ramen and tap water, I will be dining with some guy who, although might be the same age as my father, is filthy rich.
I went up by the border of Canada. We took shrooms and went fishing...pretty sure we killed a dragon and ate it for dinner
I found him in the kitchen singing German metal into a banana while simultaneously mixing brownie batter. He didn't have any pants on.
I decided not to look up the nudes, because I believe that there is a line, and that mocking my old classmate's horrid nudes alone crosses that line.
I'm actually pinning crap for Friendsgiving like a boss right now. These bitches better show up.
He asked if I had any questions. Apparently, "how thick is the stick up your ass" was not a correct question.
I'm shaking a cocktail while in bed. Is that bad?
She was drunk, dancing on the table. Until the table leg completely broke off and she fell on the ground and broke her front tooth straight off. Worse news is there making her pay for the table
Two of us got arrested. Gonna be delayed a bit. Save me a burger.
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