Good news! Whoever used this stall at Target earlier...not pregnant!
he let me wear his jacket and there was a magnum and a bowl in his pocket ... I think im in love
If I die, I leave all my liquor in my apartment to you. Be a drunk bitch at my funeral. I wouldn't want it any other way.
walking back to the dorm.. she is flashing evryone, demanding beads. we tried to stop her and now she just keeps yelling "Bourbon st bitchesss"... you get her tomorrow
Just saw a midget on a motorcycle. Best sight for a hangover ever.
Im going..... Drinking all day and hand jobs from 18yr old emo rich girls that are just trying to get back at mom and dad for being to protective...SOLD
There is nothing quite so awkward as watching topless bullriding with your mother next to you..
you and him went to the park at 2am to "catch a pigeon" and ACTUALLY CAME BACK WITH A PIGEON
When he pulled it out last night I asked if that was as hard as it was going to get. I think I may have offended him.
haha it's ok, I asked people. I was like "I'm high and lost" and the dude just said "That's my life. Love it."
I met her parents last night. Her dad smelled like weed and kept yelling "I HAVE ALLERGIES AHHH MY EYES ARE BURNING!" During dinner It had to be good weed he didn't even know he was yelling.
look, im sorry that i yelled at your little brother, threw my car keys at him and smashed a stale cookie with a pool cue, but i swear to god i didn't poop on the floor. it was one of your dogs.
I'm intrigued by how his mouth tasted the same as his dick.
I JUST WANT TO HAVE AWKWARD SEXUAL EXPERIENCES WITH HIM.
She's better-looking with the mask on.
Randomize
