we have a love-hate relationship...we love having sex but hate waking up next to eachother
then they high fived as they party boyed me. I was a policewoman sandwhich. I love you halloween.
your cum blends into my yellow sheets :/
nope im down the street in my car watching the front of her house. its actually less creepy than it sounds
Yes my plan is to drink the college out of me so i can be an adult by monday
I like how I get messages from eharmony at the same time I'm looking for a new vibrator. It's like the powers that be are just trying to make my life ironic.
Want to come over and play therapist and then fuck all the emotion away?
I WAS JUST SITTING HERE BEING SNIFFED BY ODD WOMEN FOR A SOLID 5 MINUTES. My face was a twist of utter fear and confusion...
How much booze could a drunk brad chug when a drunk brad does chug booze?!?
All. The answer is always all
This tequila is so bad I might cry. I won't Throw up but I might cry
I'm not a morning person, and, trust me, no matter how good your cock may be, it will not turn me into one.
Just had a threesome with my best friend and LSAT teacher...just checked three things off my bucket list in one night
Just threw up in a baggy on the airplane. The guys next to me clapped and bought me a jack and coke.
Livin the dream
You planned on giving him head in the shower?
More like I just fell and it seemed like a good idea when I was down there
I am going to constantly be reminded of you for the next couple of days because of how sore my vagina is. It's just the price I have to pay.
Randomize
