Whore.
I was being facetious
Don't try to hide behind big words.
Call it a failed empirical study as to whether drugs would make her more interesting. or at least better in bed.
birth control and beer are two of the most beautiful creations ever invented.
if it walks like a guido and talks like a guido, i'm gonna fuck it.
Hey just to warn you theres a really fat guy passed out in front of our front door snoring. Don't touch him, he's in god's hands now.
Got hereat 8. Had 6 beers 2 shots and a game of diZZY BATOS
You were running around yelling "BUKAKE!" and squirting people with a shampoo bottle you found. Total shitshow.
I will never understand why the dress to get laid party is always scheduled to be during family weekend. Its not even ironically funny.
My internship group is made up of all freshman. Their enthusiasm for education and social interaction sickens me.
I feel like everyone in class can tell we had a threesome last weekend.
I feel like my vagina was punched by chuck Norris, a Brazilian chuck Norris.
I love that there are toys on the counter. Coffee, tea, wine bottles, gag ball, and handcuffs.
My kitchen gets me.
i refuse to sex anyone who doesn't get my lord of the rings references. no exceptions.
If I could figure out how to do him with his wranglers on you would never see me again.
You need to go! It’s a midwestern wedding - the single girls out there think life ends at 25 if they don’t have a picket fence and family. That’s when your penis introduces himself
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