Where were you when I was single???
Still in diapers.
I wish the holidays was like a drive thru. Get in. Get your presents. Get out.
adderall flavored popcorn. yes we did it and its awesome
His room was full of guns. It was like having sex with Clint Eastwood.
She tried to wake me up by touching my dick. I kept pretending to be asleep.
After giving the pizza guy directions you told him to look for the big stupid looking kid outside in purple
Dude she has the ugliest blow job face ever.
Taped crackers to the wall. Sat I'n the dryer. Bobby had to pull me out by my hair. No more.
Was it fun? The night started with home made Jager and ended in him falling out of a tree with a pocket full of house numbers...you tell me.
Just saw a dude walk out of the parking. Garage in a diaper and tutu. He had a handle in one hand and a toy bow in the other
LOL its 11 am
Trying to roll joints on a seadoo in the middle of a lake on a windy night. -Juststonerthings
How awkward is it to have the guy you used to sleep with congratulate you on your engagement? I'll tell you. Very.
I'm excited for him and his new girlfriend. I'm just going to miss his penis is what I'm saying.
We walking to the game and some random guy came up to to me and yelled "hey you're the whiskey guy!" And then high fived me then walked away
I feel like i'm being yelled at when you type in all caps.Did you just have bad sex?
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