When she said "surprise me" I'm positive she didn't mean "bang my roommate"
Prob not but she was surprised
her teeth should be alot whiter from all of those blowjobs she gives
You know how you thought that you put on a condom last weel?
yea
turns out that you did...and i just found it.
shit I'm tired of wearing other peoples clothes to bed
I just jerked off and used a stopwatch to track my results. Pretty depressing on multiple fronts.
Just did coke off of a cross necklace and am headed to the strip club. Happy Easter!
I don't want to tell anyone! People who sleep with senators either end up in porn or guantanamo
You need to call dibs on the blond with the tits. It's your birthday.
Haha hell yea
Because if someone gets to see those.. It should be you. It's like God telling you Happy Birthday.
The guy at the door just stared only at my boobs and said "I'm gonna let you in." 'Merica
Are you alive?
I woke up under the pier.
You threw up with such class too! Tiara and all.
It's called life, you pretentious bitch. Grow up.
Oh my god.. Saw a commercial for Captain Morgan. Made me gag a little bit.
dude. I can hear the air.
Did u find my other sock in your bra? U said u were uneven so I did the gentlemanly thing.
Randomize
