I pooped in a mop bucket.
WTF???
Their employee restroom was locked what kind of customer service is that
hes 24 and dating a highschool junior and keeps saying how happy he is. happy about what? her ACT score??
if you don't go out with us, what are you gonna do? you're gonna go home and watch biodome and masturbate to texts from your east coast boyfriend and see the facebook pictures from the party when you wake up.
i was surprised by the severity of his small dick condition
Just had a handjob preempted by a huge bolt of static electricity leaping from her fingertip to my sack. I hate this time of year.
The last thing I remember was talking about the economic viability of cock ring manufacturing... we had some good ideas
There are topless girls riding the lawn flamingos. I win.
She whispered into my eat that she wanted me to fuck her while her parrot watched...
Im so tired of dysfunctional exs fucking up my relationships with future dysfunctional exs
well I have to shit but I'm too hungover to push, and I snorted advil so I wouldn't have to swallow it and throw up.. hungover is an understatement.
If I had a dick as big as yours. The world would be an oyster. An oyster smaller than my big penis
Let me tell you the story of bicurious george
When i like your selfie it means one of two things. 1. thats a nice photo, friend. OR 2. I wanna bend you over a table. But youll never know.
In other news, people don't judge you when you buy a vibrator if you buy a funny birthday card and bag with it. I learned that this weekend.
Tip of the day: Don't Amazon vibrators when your WHOLE FAMILY uses your prime account. There's dildo after dildo showing up in my "Related to Items You've Viewed" category on the home page.
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