you're like the ceasar milan of boners... you understand them on a different level.
i only shaved half my leg
on purpose
She asked me to cum on her. ON her. I think we're out of the friend zone
Apparently senior citizens don't like that position
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Just found a picture of me licking the bouncers ear last night
The other night after we fucked we talked about Lowe's vision insurance. Never fuck a coworker.
If I get laid, we are framing that mattress and hanging it on the wall as the place we both lost our virginities.
Btw...I puked in my hand last night and threw it on the floor. Don't let me do tequila ever again.
Bud light lime after 12 shots of vladdy is like frolickin in a meadow of sweet flavor
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i had a mental breakdown over a math asignment proposed to a glass of chocolate milk then burned my hands when i acidentally leaned on the stove i have the grill marks burned on my hands i can see them
its only been 20 minuts since i last saw you
I felt like a responsible adult. A responsible adult that may or may not end up shitfaced. But not heaving purple puke into a urinal like last time because I'm classy now.
Broken leg sex is fun because I just get to lay there
Just almost drowned myself in the shower again. I need an adult.
woke up between a girl's legs. make your own conclusion.
is it bad that im laying on a beach towel in my room with my lights on high pretending to be tanning on the beach in the summer?
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