ok, his religious views on facebook are madonna lyrics. we no longer have to wonder about his sexuality.
She started to tell me how she goes to a shrink, so I started thinking how to sneak out of her place, then she said part of it was for her sex addiction, long story short she's got her clit peirced n I just got laid
The only thing worse than cracking my rib on a slip and slide was having the doctors laugh when they found out in my medical history that I did this exact same thing last summer.
the meat mosque collapsed into the alcohol moat
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
he got mad when I told him his flaccid penis looked like a sleeping kitten
The cabbie told us to at least pretend we weren't doing coke while he was driving
New carpet is nice. I'm making carpet angels. Like a fresh snowfall.
Some kid just popped open a giant PBR and walked into his final...
Reading an example in the GRE study book referencing Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles while wearing TMNT pajamas. *airfist*
omg please tell me you're eating pizza right now too.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Some fat latino guy has these 2 fat white moms making out with each other on the dance floor
Lost feeling in my face, my shoe and had a nose bleed. That's not wings. Fuck red bull.
oh and apparently my boobs are named "have no fear" and "plenty o'beer"
sigh, if only his dick was as big as his mouth
Betting for two different teams with two different guys is the best. Time to get $100 by one guy and laid by the other!
Per my usual Thursday, I blacked out and slept on the stairs.
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