My dream in life is to scissor with Ellen. I don't care if I've got a dick. I'll make it work.
I know...I feel like disliking her as a person on facebook
i have a food baby... i think its a boy...
We had sex on a ferris wheel in canada, our relationship will never be the same
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
he made me scream out "#24" while we fucked...no more football players
Does she know that uploading nude photos to photobucket and networking are two different things? You may want to ask.
two gay guys came in and bought just a kite and a box of wine. Why cant I have saturday nights that awesome
Call me next time you want to get irresponsibly drunk when we have grown up things to do the next day.
I just took a shit with a lightsaber in my hand. Dreams fulfilled.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He just texted me asking if I remember pinching his eyelid shut with my eyelash curler.
He came into your room last night to tell me he was leaving, when I woke up this morning he was facedown in your hallway. He didn't make it very far.
I was living a snoop dogg song I fucked her on the floor so I wouldn't mess up my bed
This girl looks like an elf and is obviously on coke. I want to be her.
MY DINNER LAST NIGHT CONSISTED OF SEMEN AND A PROTEIN SHAKE... MY TRAINER WOULD BE PROUD I DIDN'T HAVE CARBS!
so you might not believe this but he made a powerpoint. and gave you a 3.5/10.
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