let's just say, the carpet matched the drapes. in colour and length.
she thought don quixote was a type of tequila.
i was so blacked out at my family party.. my mom gave markers to all my little cousins. i was tagged by 5 year olds.
Someone is gonna learn how to start an IV in the morning
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
So yeah you need to stop having near death experiences at McDonalds.
underwater hpnotiq shots? sure why not.
My mom would probably be ok with my lifestyle as long as she doesn't see that photo of me doing bong rips in a Jesus costume.
I want him to be the Hulk to my Brooke Hogan this Halloween. Can I ask him to be my daddy this weekend?
Only if you say it like that.
I just feel like I'm worth a little bit more than your recycled nudes...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I was eating leftover taco bell in bed at 3 in the afternoon. I can't throw any stones
I thought I was really making her scream. Turns out she had a Lego jammed in her lower back.
The cat ate a weed mint. This is not a drill
We celebrated Cinco the right way. We took shots of 1800 then he fucked me while Selena was on TV in the background
I woke up with my my shoes on and pants half way off and missing 60 dollars. Please please please tell me you saw me last night.
I threw a lamp at you?
Yes, yes you did.
Awesome
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