My relationship with VH1 is so bittersweet
Aparently his snake got loose in the middle of the night. Not a sex joke, he has a fucking snake
Weird we were more concerned with sharing our germs than tag teaming the blow job?
Okay do all 29 year olds have erectile dysfunction or just the two I've slept with?
He wanted to drink hypnotic from my butt crack. I need to move out this state.
This guy keeps going off in the metal detector. When is it appropriate for me to punch him in the throat just in case?
I JUST MADE OUT WITH A BRITISH SOCCER PLAYER. LONG LIVE THE QUEEN. GOD BLESS THAT COUNTRY.
So I told him it takes a lot to get me drunk & he said he was the heavyweight champion in college. We high-fived. Obviously I'm the favorite child.
'twas the night before moms weekend and all were blacked out. Not a coug was sober not even farm house. I was down to fuck but you were not in sight, so I bid pullmania a sweet goodnight.
Drunkness level: fluent in olde norse
Look,the guy had sex w/a Canadian prison guard on the deck of a cruise ship,he could blow any second.
I am stoned at Disneyland with my little brother. It's gonna be a good day.
My mom just called hysterical. She and her sister found my dead grandma's vibrator.
The apple don't fall far from that tree.
I had 2 shots but she spilt one on me. Kinda mad but kinda grateful
Just reintroduced tequila back into my life...so that's happening
YAS SHES BACK AND BETTER THAN EVER
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