i wish i could "like" people's thoughts in real life like i can on facebook
you can....by speaking....
I don't think he has that. His apartment was pretty much a tv and a bed. Topless girl calendar and a glass of water to put out cigarettes.
Whose surfboard did we steal and why is there a wood carving of a pelican in the fridge where the beer used to be?
Just so we're on the same page, we cannot have been the first people to have ever thought about shooting that guy with crossbow
then he asked me if i wanted to "handle his wingman"
He threw me a bud light and when I opened it he smacked it out of my hand because "Dave giveth, and Dave taketh away". WTF
Like do you realize his dealer came out with a gun and we laughed like it was all just fun and games...
I had a dream where I was about to fight you but you were dressed like a greek god and had just killed a werewolf with your bare hands
Oh my god, I totally forgot we call your penis "Godzilla's Tail".
Yeah. It's just like I have his virginity and he has my shoes and where do we go from here.
Well I smoked some weird shit and I think I peed on my phone.
I am one with the molecules
She was wearing American flag underwear. How could I NOT fuck her?
You're a true patriot.
The bartender remember my drink from last sat. I think we just became drocals...drunk. locals.
The whole country is going to hell in a handbasket but I got a grade A fucking and don't particularly care.
Randomize
