Are you kidding me. My sex life has diminshed to having wet dreams about jerking off.
If he eats mayonnaise, he's not getting laid. End of story.
isnt it creepy that our bodies make people
she's sitting on the other side of the room at this party. with her smirnoff tucked in that little opening between her cleavage and shirt. drinking from a straw. snapping her fingers off beat.
it's love
He said something pertaining to Ragu and vodka I'm worried
Hey fuck you and your taint. I'm just riding a canoe called life, back the fuck off. P.s. I need a ride
I just found a tail you can wear naked. Via a butt plug. Who ever said the internet was a good thing?
I just wish I could congratulate your tits on how much I love seeing them
That kid i sell weed to just had his mom give him a ride over here she waited in the car while he bought a bag
I'm sorry that running around town like a frenetic wombat trying to find you KY jelly isn't good enough for you.
Did I, at any point last night, say I was dying?
I just wanted a bootycall and now somehow I'm at his parents playing dominoes. But they have tequila so it's cool
We had a company shotgunning beers contest in the parking lot today, and I won. God bless America!
I just found a ladybug shell in my underwear. What was I doing last night?
Drunk on wine at my parents house watching "RugRats In Paris". Comeatmeadulthood.
Randomize
