She was not exactly lady-like. Down there.
I guess she didn't feel like it. There was hair all over it and everything
The only thing i was looking forward to on 4th of july was the google logo and they let me down. That and beer, lots and lots of beer
In your defense, I really thought capturing that alligator would have been a lot more awesome and a lot less tragic.
RIP Mr Bojangles.
Having a vagina does not stop me from believeing my balls are bigger than yours.
Marking my student's "don't do drugs" posters while simultaneously texting my dealer, is this what being a grown up is like?
she has like 12 pairs of underwear people left at her house from the other night
I WANT MY VAGINA TO POUND AT NICE THINGS.
It's Been clinically proven that people who have sex 6 or more times per week are happier than those who don't. Just and FYI. For your mental health. From a soon so be psychologist. Who is drunk.
Muscle is literally tearing itself off of my shins. No I am not going on another bar crawl with you.
I'll pay?
Pick me up at 9.
You told me you were with a dog dressed as a taco, and it was the only one you trusted
Okay so how much boob would you consider inappropriate for smart casual?
So in my DUI class I had to write down 3 people I'd call if I needed to talk and why...they all want to meet you now...
I remember telling you that I think Taylor Swift has stolen my essence. I still think that's true.
Everything is bullshit and I hate everyone
Randomize
