We better get laid next semester cause I prayed hard
I even walked 30 feet with my eyes closed from two love rocks so that we get some cock
The only reason you're wearing underwear tonight is cause you have a family dinner before
so..some girl walked up to me on the porch last night. She came to apologize for peeing on our lawn a few days ago. I just looked at her and said it was ok, she wasn't the first.
and by charming I mean he has a horse cock.
Fuck their fairy tale bullshit. I shall ruin it. With a few thrusts of my cock.
My morning has consisted of lying in a fetal position, eating a whole tub of ben and jerry's, talking to my cat, and setting all of our pictures on fire. Does that answer your question?
I just almost got out my car and drop kicked this one chick over parking. Welcome to the first day of spring semester.
You dont understand. she was my french AND spanish teacher. that's 2 kinds of freaky. i have to find her on facebook.
After we hooked up, he left the room and no one has seen him since last night. That kid redefined hit it and quit it.
I pulled down his boxers and a 20 dollar bill fell out. I'm telling you, the blowjob fairy EXISTS
remember to ask your mom about the name of her pet duck so we can name the bowl
Basically I learned last night that if you're too polite people will think it's okay to play with your nipples when really its not even a little okay
Mom and dad should be so proud half of their children have gotten naked in the same local grocery store
i also remember watching someone vomit off a balcony which was kind of grim
You'll probably laugh but I am currently in bed in the fetal position wrapped in only my ninja turtles towel. Save me.
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