I don't care how bad it tastes, i just put it in my mouth and deal with it
we need blinds so i can safely watch porn during the day
Nothing like a $37 iTunes bill. Jesus Christ do you know how many $2 beer/shot specials that is??? The answer is 16. 16 beer/shot specials.
She kept biting his ear when he was talking to people, that was only 3 drinks in...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
apparently it's a turnoff if you ask a guy why he thinks he needs to use magnums
Tis the season to puke in grandma's bathroom
You've gotta make sure the carpets match the drapes, though.
I am not dying my bush blue.
my parents have to start far too many of our conversations with the sentence "this is an observation, not a judgment" than I'm proud of
She said I had a really great aura. Which I think is hippie code for "I bet you can give me a mind melting orgasm"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We had sex on the bear rug. He said "you, me and the bear. This is bear-idise"
I almost don't wanna have sex with her because I'm afraid she'll steal my hat
my roommate was being a bitch so I changed my Netflix password on her. 21st century slap in the face ladies and gentleman
I am such a fucking liability at weddings. I ended up making out with this married 40-year-old that told me that basically if I came home with him and be a sex partner for him and his wife, I would never have to pay for anything again. Extremely considered it.
I'm in the Sheetz parking lot waiting for dad to finish a drug deal.
I didn't expect the hobit to have that much sexual tension.
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