He muttered something about having just washed he sheets, then demanded I give him all my quarters.
Nick had a break down & said to me "Everybody's mad at me, I'm the douchebag, Im the fucking douchebag that everyone hates, Do you wanna come home with this douchebag?!"
You're going home with him aren't you?
I'll see ya in the morning when I leave his house
My relationship with VH1 is so bittersweet
Since my computer broke, i've been masterbating to girls gone wild. I feel like i'm in the 90's.
As I was buying milk at the market, the lady at the checkstand said, "what? No alcohol today?" have I really earned THAT reputation?
It's 8 am and he's already trying to get me to make out with a girl.
I made a tournament bracket for the girls that Im talking with.
hey watch out, they threw flour on everyone who passed out at their party last year.
I will forever be haunted by the image of you hurrying to finish your Jimmy Johns sandwich in the Taco Bell drive thru so you could proceed to order $17 dollars worth of shitty Mexican food.
There's two sisters at this place and they look competitive. Try for a threesome tonight?
It's gonna be ok. As we grow older we sometimes lose sight of what's important to us. Like safe sex. And standards.
did you just take a shot to penises and friendship?
Observations from Vegas: #1. Strippers pasties pose a choking hazard. #2. Best. Heimlich. Ever.
The sorting hat of life was not kind to you.....
Well it might’ve been because you asked to play What Makes You Beautiful at the club
Randomize
