somehow you got everyone naked by playing strip rock paper scissors.
"romantic friends" sounds more classy then friends with benfits
we just toasted to your mouth on alex's balls at the bar
Working on an important paper into the wee hours of the morning, and every time I type the word "situation," I can't help but think of effing Jersey Shore. Those guidos are now ruining my academic life.
that beer fried lasagna last night was sooo good
that wasnt beer fried lasagna, you just poured beer on my lasagna
I wish we could skip the pretense of being normal and just start drinking wine with breakfast
Only I can have a panic attack in the back seat of a cop car and have them move me to the front seat.
Well on a lighter note, I had sex in a food truck.
Thank god crabs can't live on your head. Thank god.
The judge mental looks i am getting while looking at porn on my phone sitting in the urgent care waiting room is gonna get way worse when they find out im here to see if im pregnant
Well, our assistant supervisor caught us on the back stairs...he invited us on a double date with his fiance and him. I guess our job approves of the relationship?
I'll never get why we had to sing the entire full house theme to the cab driver.... never drinking rum again.
Got hit on by the cable guy. Solid 9. Think Orlando Bloom with a glorious curly mullet.
He was so aggressive it felt like he was giving my boob a root cannal
"can you come pick me up from the ikea parking garage i think i slept here"
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