Last-second stop at the drug store for lube and condoms. Clerk said "So uhmmm...that's a done deal, huh?"
High five!
i like him when i'm sober AND when i'm drunk.i've been searching for this my whole life
I like that we make it a requirement to howl at the moon every time we get drunk together.
Ha ha. You should see the things I'm doing to my body at Bob Evans.
there is a guy passed out on top of me and i don't know what to do. help if you're awake? was anyone anyone expecting someone? maybe he found the wrong room?
You were crying and singing wanted dead or alive while trying to eat cold soup, I think that pathetic is an understatement
It was like giving head to a cactus.
151 hangover. Need apocalypse.
Apparently nick called me at 3 in the morning looking for you because you ate your keys and ran away..do I need to call an ambulance.
EITHER I'M HIGH OR JUST REACHED A NEW LEVEL OF SINGLE FEMALE SADNESS BECAUSE THIS BROWNIE IS GIVING ME ORGASMS
He's actually really cute and seems like a good guy. And given that he likes lots of drugs, he could come in handy.
I am pretty great at coffee and mistakes
He ate me out for an eternity. Like fell asleep, woke up, and he was still doing it.
he came with me to get plan b but they didn't have any. when I started crying he said "come on it's not that bad.. ill go get sandwiches from the vending machine and we'll have our first meal together as a family"
I'm going to blackout. I realize this
Randomize
