Update from family reunion: my aunt Janet once got her legs stuck behind her head. The fire department had to be called.
her boobs were like sundried tomatoes..
Ok so my english teacher told me i could have 5 absences bc of my "problem". I have no idea what she is talking about
My family just suggested tequila shots. I had Vietnam style flashbacks.
weed brownie and a latte, breakfast of champions
I found out why we traded puke covered dresses in the bathroom.
Just saw ur booking photo. Love that u were already wearing orange. Its like u knew
You act like pregaming preseason hockey is a crime. Come on man, get fucked up and watch pucks. It rhymes so well it has to go together. DOS EQUIS Y DEVILS!
I just want to let it be known that I almost put my phone in the fridge.
Things in my bed this morning: a Waffle House hat, a finding nemo DVD, sharpies, my graduation robes and an adult diaper. Did we play drunk scavenger hunt again?
This tiny Canadian guy just tipped me $20, a piece of gum, and a joint. I wasn't working. He literally tipped me for talking to him.
I think I'm still drunk...I just gave my empty conditioner bottle a break-up speech before I threw it away.
I just ordered 30 klonopins from India that could probably be anything from Viagra to Midol. You need to find another friend to get advice from right now
I miss the days where our biggest worries were who was gonna win battle shits.
We finally gave up searching because everything had started to look like flip flops
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