Just mADE A PArabola og urine
It's amazing how much jurassic park has contributed to my life recently
fyi, i just bought my first strap-on. the little mermaid theme song was playing in the background.
im so drunk with asians
where?
always
just fit an iguana in a condom...have pics
just had to explain to the health center why i wanted 50 condoms a month.
Any coincidence your getting married tomorrow and it's the most predicted day for the rapture? Just saying
dude to be honest with you there is a used condom that ive just left on my floor for three days
you have got to get your shit together
I just held a marble with my kegel muscles for 5 min. You may call me COCKCLAMP 9000!!!!
Chilling on my porch debating between pre work drinking or video games and getting high.
Also I can show up hungover, fall asleep at my desk, and smell like a bottle of whiskey, and they still like me more then my shitty co worker
From what I remember I had fun, until I threw up, and lost my shoes..
He has fairy lights round his bed.. And played Jamie cullum when we had sex... Hes batting for the other team right?
We told the cop that we were playing soccer, in flip flops, and 2:30 in the morning. It was raining and i had board shorts on. He bought it, lets go get drunk
Thanks for driving us home last night. Also, blanket apology for anything I may have said/done. I blacked out sometime near the t-shirt cape incident
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