Hahaha, sighhhh...I texted him to no response. It's a shame, really...I would gladly exchange my body for pizza rills.
I found your dream girl. She looked 11 but drove and on her key chain it said "if i am not wasted the day is"
I can mark tailgating, going to the game and getting road head off my to do list today
The weird kid in front of me is reading an article titled "why don't i have a girlfriend?" the article then continues to talk about the mathematical equation for obtaining a girlfriend. exhibit a of why he is single
It was one of those "since we're naked anyway" type situations
Yes, she did suck your dick in the bathroom to wake you up.
i slept with him so i could steal the screens out of his sink faucets for my bowl when he went to sleep. not because he's funny.
Yeah I mean I think I need to stop living off of snacks and alcohol
People will say "JOE YOU MUST TURN DOWN" and I will refuse, in the name of liberty.
It's only ok to pee out the window in the afternoon when you're drunk.
All I wanted was a couple of orgasms before work, is that too much to ask?!
...and now I welcome the sweet embrace of death.
I was afraid I was gonna get a URI, so I peed on his front porch.
Dude I'm fucking tired of freshman, there are god damn teeth marks on my dick again
You were leaning against a fire hydrant asking people if they wanted to buy free pocket peanuts from you.
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