So you really shouldn't go around telling people you're fireproof
hey, haven't seen your testicles in a while...you 3 still alive?
you were crying and trying to give advice to people.. that's was a new level of drunk for you
I feel choking has become trendy-- ita losing its effect. I may just have to go back to missionary to spice it up
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I was mixing candy canes and coors light and was in a great place.
I was living a snoop dogg song I fucked her on the floor so I wouldn't mess up my bed
I'm sitting in the breakroom facing a very large sign that says "inappropriate workplace behaviors", and i can't help but feel like it is directed at me
You puked on the bar then proceeded to walk out. I told the bartender some girl walked up, puked and left and he gave me a free drink. Hope you got home safe.
Haha ohman remember when I peed in your blender? Gotta love college.
YOU DID WHAT???
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Did I just hear you ask Siri about the meaning of life?
I threw up through my nose tonight. Happy cinco de mayo
And I woke up by myself with peanut butter.. Cool
We're starting to light shit on fire, bring a metal bucket. Be prepared, Jimmy's off his meds.
well you did quote socrates while playing beer pong and then proceeded to fall down
I definitely almost just pulled a condom out of my purse instead of money for my dad.
Randomize