the new term for farting is butt boxing.
Is it sad that the only reason I haven't lapsed into depression is that I'm prettier than her?
Nah, we all need something.
we got a new version of the plan b at the pharmacy now. its called next choice. you would think they would come up with better names for these things.
I woke up this morning with 2 australian chicks passed out in my living room, a whole bunch of coke on my kitchen counter and I have no idea how the fuck either thing got there
I don't think there's a better bc pill reminder then when teen mom comes on
Had sex five times today because there was nothing else to do. I had no idea snow days could get even better than when we were kids
Its name is Richard. And I think he formally introduced us.
Almost propositioned sex in exchange for a study guide for my final tomorrow.
I want to get so drunk, you will need subtitles to understand me. Rough week.
Thank you contacting dial-a-boner. Currently, our boner is on a run to service another client. You can either wait 2 hours for service, or share concurrent service with the current client.
I think we've gotten passed awkward... the day I woke up at the palms and ur getting eaten out by the dude who just fucked me on the balcony.
Captain Morgan does not know self control. Nor does he teach it.
What happened to no more shots?
It went out the window just like my dreams
The angle I tried to shoot a load on her face was unfortunate. I accidentally came on the David Bowie tribute she had out. Oddly, that made it more erotic.
I don't even remember what dignity looks like anymore. I JUST WANTED TO ROAST SOME POTATOES
Randomize
