we made malted milkshakes. malt as in malt liqour.
You tried to poop in the sink last night.
i think i can safely say that is the weirdest thing you've ever propositioned me with. so obviously my answer is yes.
he made his penis look like a sprinkler when he was coming. it was pretty cool actually.
Most awkward car ride ever. Kid in the front seat was bawling, 2 in the backseat were ready to fight, and I was giving the last kid a handie. This needs to stop happening to us.
I dont know if this is a good time to tell you but im actually a freshman.. not a senior
When he grabbed my tits it felt like he was either giving me a mammogram or trying to pierce my nipples with his fingers.
This chick at the gym, just informed me I was super funny this weekend. Especially when I untied her friends bikini top after throwing up in the women's restroom. SWEET black out chronicles has another story
He told me the hickey on the side if his neck was actually a "bruise" from hitting a bird on his motorcycle. I'm not sure what's more impressive, the fact people believed him due to the size of the mark or the fact you gave it to him.
If it wasn't for the fact that I drink during my lunch break I'm pretty sure I would have quit this job by now
He was peeing on the back wall of a building. He would have been okay if the building hadn't been a police station.
is it wrong to hook up with someone at a memorial drum circle
All right, sex is off the menu for you. Now you just get friendship. So I can spend marginally less time being annoyed by you.
And now you know why we call him Three-Balls Brad
Never joke about your clitoris.
Randomize
