I am good. I dancing. Drinking but dancing fine.
home. puking in laundry basket.
you went through ur friends list and posted an obscene comment on every ultrasound pic...."not his" "looks like a sea monkey"
I'm gonna stay in bed all day and watch porn in an attempt to stay warm.
I'd like to come home and be able to sleep in a bed that's not filled with crumbs from you getting too high and passing out while eating. This is seriously getting ridiculous.
He asked if I wanted to "hang out"
A verb which here means "do lines off my dick"
I'd be a gr8 surrogate. I'm gonna love your fetus
It sounds miserable..I have to wear a dress and it's a cash bar?
I thought I could grab a hold of my stream of urine. So she left pretty soon after that.
My boss just high fived me after finding out i made it through lunch rush rolling on molly. To think this guy used to terify me.
Then that is decided. Fuck away my little bunny rabbit.
Last night turned out to be an expensive trip to your house between the ticket and the plan b. (Well I haven't gotten that yet)
My mom just drunk texted me complaining about her genitals smelling like Taco Bell. I really am her son
What if for Halloween I paint my self gold and make sandwiches for everyone? I'd be a trophy wife! Get it?
i dont know how or why im in the gym right now, but theres a hot cop, a guy i hook up with, and his hot friend. this can only lead to every fantasy i ever had.
Randomize
