I lost count of how many people I peed on last night.
she told me if people cross their eyes and look at her, they say she looks like megan fox
He woke up, got my bottle of water and poured it on me and then went back to sleep. Not really how I want to wake up at 2 a.m.
In preparation of Wine in the Woods next weekend, today we're hosting Straight Vodka in the Bathtub
the parents are super pissed...made eye contact with the mom while going down on another girl
We sat in his closet and drank four loko out of my camelbak for an hour in the dark. You tell me how my night went.
I feel like I took a shit on my life and you're rubbing my nose in it.
She sprained her ankle last night trying to flash me.
It's an open bar. I'm gonna be gone when you get here.
Text me the address now before you're too drunk to text English.
All I remember is dance battling with a man named tom the entire time who kept buying me drinks so id say it was a success
He rubbed aloe on my sunburn while I blew him... could he be anymore perfect?
I just woke up drenched in beer, in a puddle of beer, and cuddling a bottle of tequila
Dude, I just feel great. I love life so much and I love you. Love. Love. So much love.
I called him my big strong man today. It's all downhill from here. Matching Christmas sweaters, here we come
Fuck this virus. We’re finally back on campus but the bars suck parties are banned sports are canceled we eat in our rooms and can’t fucking hangout with anyone. I’m tired of virtual classes and involuntary celibacy
OMG IKR! It’s not college unless we’re puking in a toilet wondering if we’re pregnant or just hungover!
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