I wish that guy wasn't missing teeth
I hate myself for knowing the words to party in the USA.
I feel like I had a lobotomy last night. I blacked out. Did we try to stick my Penis in a beer bottle?
My ex just sent me a message asking if she could blow me, but only if we get caught by her new bf. If she promises to swallow I'm doing it.
He never answered about passing his structures test no matter how I asked him. He did send a text saying that he would be "pouring alcohol into his head and balls" so I'm guessing he has to retake the whole class.
That freshman guy that keeps trying to hook up with me just saved someone's life ... Should I reconsider?
guys I just made $20 cause these random south african guys thought I wasn't wearing any underwear
LESSON OF THE DAY: Saying Everclear gets you out of explaining anything.
I think I just pulled an onion peel off my boob from sleeping on their kitchen floor
The struggles of a small town man whore
He asked me to come stay with him so he could "see that ass and watch Harry Potter."
I lost all interest the day she banged that guy in the Amazon parking lot. That's a special kinda whore.
were you aware we were supposed to be taking care of her hamster this weekend?
i solemnly vow to never stick my penis into crazy again
I give it a week.
He said he broke his back in 3 spots & my first thought was "there goes my booty call".
Did u have a 2nd thought
I need a new booty call.
Randomize
