he asked me what things i liked that he did in bed, and i told him all the things i hated so he would use it on that new bitch and she wouldnt hook up with him anymore.
you for real need to get over him dude
all i asked was if it was all the way in, and now im laying here alone. sensitive guys fucking suck
All I need is the Internet and a place to drink.
YOHYFONSO!! YOU ONLY HAVE YOUR FIRST ONE NIGHT STAND ONCE!!
I just want to know how she convinced 6 sober ROTC guys to have an ab contest on a street corner at 2 in the morning.
Just realized my relationship wasn't even Facebook official and I'd already cheated on him. 'Shitty girlfriend' is an understatement.
Woke up behind one of the fraternity brothers houses in the grass wearing a guinness hat and aviators hugging a 30 rack box with a zonie on my chest next to a campfire.
Do you think I'm short enough to dress up in a ghost costume and go trick or treating and have people believe that I'm actually a child?
He also has scotch. LOTS AND LOTS of scotch. I think you'd like him!
That is always a wonderful personality trait!
I feel like shit, and I can't get the band aids off my nipples.
The struggles of a small town man whore
I got subtly pornographic with a lollipop while we were talking and he got flustered and started to blush. If he’s not interested after that I need to turn in my vagina card.
Maybe I’ll just go to the party as myself
What, a homewrecker?
Touché
Just saw Little Red Riding Hood riding a guy on hood of a car
Good for her for committing to the costume
I just thought you should know that you should be proud of your dick. It's pretty much perfect. Just, ya know, by the way.
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