You just compared our sex life to a seven year old kid.
he kind of looks like leonardo dicaprio...in whats eating gilbert grape
wtf, did you fuck a retard?!
i feel as if last night was a right of passage. to officially be an adult you must have a drunken one night stand with a co-worker and go to work the next day still drunk wearing yesterday's clothes...
You came back with puke all over your sweatshirt and started doing darth vader impressions
well after this past weeked you can expect to see me on maury playing a little game called "who's the father"
Emergency need house key where r u I just got shit o n
As I was climbing out of the pool he slapped my ass and said 'stay golden', i don't know why but it felt right.
4 people stoned, 3 boys I've slept with, 2 I gave chlamydia, and a partridge in a pear treeeeee
How festive
I just realized that I have dated 5 unemployed guys...and 3 that drove pt cruisers...Turns out I do have a type.
He drops f bombs like every other word and he just gave me 127 shares of tmobile stock for free. I feel like I should pay him back in blow jobs or something.
Got a minor my first day of college from the bike police. I'm gonna like it here
Jäger goes great with personal crises and receding morals...
All I ever do is give guys anxiety problems and flaccid penises.
It's a shame I've been hooking up with him for 6 months and he still doesn't know my real name.
i really didnt think i was that drunk last night but the txts from unknwn #s that say i like your lace panties are def telling me otherwise
Randomize
