What should i be more turned off about... his massive collection of condoms or that he asked me to sign my name by number 68 on the list posted on his wall?
I think the two go hand in hand.
was it mean of me to chase him screaming "DO YOU EVER WANT TO BE ABLE TO HAVE CHILDREN?!"?
Don't really want to talk about it. You were right. She had a whole jar of toenail clippings on her nightstand that she chews on "when her fingernails are too short." Direct quote.
I went down on her for at least a half hour, She loved it, so I thought she'd recip. She said "I only do that if I know I'm getting something out of it."
SHUT IT DOWN.
so i just realized i am an alcoholic. I was making some tomato soup because im still sick, and put vodka in it. sad huh? lets go out!
white trash bash was a total success...cops shut it down twice and her hair stayed in rollers all night..she never broke character
We need to get her some penis inspired head protection.
Also, I'm sewing my entire Halloween costume by hand. I better get laid at every single party I go to.
I'm honestly too sad to drink and hang out with strippers. This breakup sucks.
Leaving someone plastered on a corner at 3am telling them to just scream for cock is NOT being a good wingman.
She wants to have naked weekends
They call that free range vagina in France
The guy at the Apple store said the warranty does NOT cover getting cum out of the keyboard. I can't believe I believed you.
Just had hot animal sex with the guy who had been sending me 10 second selfie snapchats for the past month
She wasn't one for labels or anything serious really but while she was riding me she yelled marry me. It's like she fucked her self into commitment lmao she realy is a keeper bro
He knocked me over backwards in my chair. I had a beer in each hand. Didn't spill a drop.
Randomize
