If it looks like I didn't change from last night, it's because I didn't.
I'm really proud of her, she waited until she was on tiled floor to start puking on the ground
great idea involving lots of fake blood and face paint, call me tomorrow.
Eating this pizza pocket is like eating out god
She said our goal is to fuck in every bathroom at the reception which is at a country club. I will have the best wedding date ever! Were 4 for 4 in public.
end of the world party next friday. virgin sacrifice. tell me you know someone whos still a virgin
He got hit with a horseshoe, set on fire, fell out of a tree, and puked all over the side of his car, all before midnight. Everclear.
Yes, yes I will fake crap in his house for you.
He told me that if he broke my bed my bed durring sex he would take me to ikea, but only on Monday because it's all you can eat meatballs. I think I'm in love.
Every person I've ever had sex with is in Chipotle right now.
My boss want to throw me an everclear birthday.
I mean like, I missed 30 minutes of star wars to fuck you on Christmas so you must be worth something
I can feel your judgement through the phone
Are ropes allowed in during conjugals?
I just had 3 numbers I don't know text me and remind me I am to attend AA on monday. Im gonna say it was a good night.
Randomize
