ok plan lets look hot and dance like whores.
there is a polo shirt epidemic at this bar. also, im pretty sure i just saw the grown-up coppertone baby
i can't believe you bought a jetta. you know that's a girl car, right? if i hadn't had sex with you, i'd have no other proof you're straight.
Nah, lets use your guy, my drug dealer is going all pineapple express on me
she was dressed as a doctor claiming that after she was done i would have a "permaboner"
then you put baby powder on the bottom of your feet and walked to your room so "ladies would follow the footprints"
I JUST SHOOK HIS GRANDMOTHER'S HAND. WITH COCK HANDS. THIS IS NOT FUNNY.
so high i just made my own version of grilled cheese using toast and spray cheese
here comes the puke
I feel like butter and tequila would be excellent combination. Right now. Please do this in my name.
Just saw a drunk bitch in the west village peeing on a car. You are not alone.
Well anyways I still cant believe I don't remember such a monumental day in history as you showing me your boobs... Jesus
Booty called 3 guys from my hospital bed
I know I joke about running from my problems a lot but I'm 3 miles off-campus and need a ride
So! As of five minutes ago I've officially masturbated in every room in my apartment
Dude, I helped you move in yesterday...
she was just meowing in the corner eating frozen chicken nuggets
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