so evidently yelling "gay" everytime your bf tells you how he feels is cause for breakup. news to me
You talked to that cop for like 15 minutes and when you got back, you told us you were "networking".
so she sprained her ankle somehow and her friend had to carry her out while all 7 of us watched. do we even need to vote on that or is that automatic induction into the hall of shame?
i flashed his best friends last night
you always were good at making good first impressions
after we had sex he told me his original plan was to have sex with my roommate but his buddy likes her so i was backup
I woke up naked in my bathtub at 5:30 this morning. There's legit a spray tan body print of me in the fetal position in my tub.
After giving a back rub to someone in the bathroom of the theater, he ripped an "employees must wash hands" sign off the wall to prove that he could and proceeded to hang it up in his house.
So... Really random... You know we only exist cause Dad misspelled 'perseverance', right?
DC is easy, you will figure it out.
I'm drunk and blonde. You are wayyyy underestimating this.
As I read your response saying I need a tan before I can become a go-go dancer, a girl cane up to work and gave me 10 coupons for 100 days of tanning for a dollar.
This is fate. You were destined to be a stripper.
You very well can't change your mind now. It would upset the natural flow of life.
He told me he loved me and then peed his own bed. So at least it was a memorable one night stand.
Get my husband this drunk again I will rip off your balls off with my bare hands and then cut them up with a dirty axe like fish bits. Do you understand me? DO YOU UNDERSTAND ME?! See you at breakfast, FUCK FACE. I'll shove that bottle of Jamison so far up your ass you'll still be praying in 2020 you can take a shit! Seriously, you make it hard to be your best friend.
IF YOU HAVE THE CHANCE TO HIT THAT, AND YOU DON'T, I WILL FUCKING CRUCIFY YOU.
You're such a supportive sister.
How did people get blow jobs before text messaging?
You've been inside me, dude. There's no such thing as TMI.
Randomize
