i hope your v-card owns a pair of floaties
we were going to warn you, but we veto-ed that idea somewhere between "this is the stupidest thing we've ever done" and "let's order a pizza"
Yes, she did suck your dick in the bathroom to wake you up.
You missed practice last night. You owe at least 8 hours of liver sprints.
The cop was more concerned with the fact I had cowboy boots on with shorts than the fact we were under age
I just banged your sister. Thats what you get for takibg my lunch money in 2 grade, boom, boom fiyyaa powaa
She's gone now. Left with the wind like a majestic leaf that just rides the invisible current to locations unknown. And dude, her friends were really hot.
Just ate tuna on a frozen waffle because we were out of bread.
This is why you don't have nice things.
Someone brought brownies to work and I was skeptical to eat one then I remembered I was at work and there is no way there is weed in them. Haha I'm blaming you for that.
I forgot drug dealers have families, too. Cheers to a sober, uncomfortable, slightly enraging Thanksgiving.
Honestly you'd think more guys would be happy to date a cute female dealer, but apparently something about safety or whatever
We share an apartment, weed and genitals. It's called being practical not in love.
The first thing I did when I got to the apartment was masturbate on the couch
Are those your contacts stuck to the mirror?!
Yeah. Drunk me tried to put my contacts on the mirror where my eyes were.
You had blacked out Skype sex? Wow we live in the future
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