Why don't I have your new number? And who have I been texting?
i don't want a singing card. it disturbs my hangover. give me a pack of cigs taped to a bottle of wine and fuck me without a condom. happy vday baby.
I need to get the stench of sex and broken dreams out of my room
I told her I had the flu when in reality I did way too many drugs last night, haven't slept and don't want to sit through a 3 hour buisness meeting trying to figure out which voices are real and which are in my head
why is my forehead so bruised?
i found you outside knocking on the door with your head because you couldn't lift your arms.
I feel like this has turned into my work. But if I get paid sitting under a desk, that's perfectly fine with me.
I feel like I have to sign a death waver before I have sex with him...
He was spooning with the dog when I came home. Now shes afriad to go near him. Should I ask?
He broke into my house just to tell me the door was locked.
They've already turned me into the Dean of Students once because they felt 'unsafe' because I came home hammered and asked one of them to make me a grilled cheese sandwich. Like, I just ASKED!
well when I said that I would ride his face until he ran out of oxygen, that's when I knew I shouldn't be around beautiful people anymore.
I made a half way decent playlist
Im gonna call it "hanging myself"
I shit like a lady though so that rarely happens
Is it unhealthy for me to do shots of pinnacle by myself in my apartment right now? Asking for a friend
i solemnly vow to never stick my penis into crazy again
I give it a week.
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