Nice. Sry i missed. Also sorry that i pissed on my toothbrush last nite
Sink seemed easy target but balance was no good
oh my she just said cum sticks to her dentures so when she blows if they let her she takes them out
Dude, this place has 10% alcohol beer on tap. It's like God's semen.
wait so...it's like an actual thing to masturbate using the detachable shower head? WTF I thought I was being creative!
I feel like my life has just been one 21 year long episode of "i shouldn't be alive"
Pretending to be straight requires way more energy than I'm willing to use in this heat.
well.. I tried flushing my sandals down the toilet
Just had such a rough shit, don't stop believin had to be played
It'll just be like "PENIS HERE". In case you get lost.
At least I can pee in a cup like a champ at this point
I don't save the phone numbers of guys I don't like. That way it's a surprise when a random number texts me and tells me I have great tits.
Do you ever actually plan things? Or is it always drugs then whatever happens? I'm considering being worried about you
We are gonna sacrifice to and pray to every god in this world that he doesn't find out about her sleeping with his old roommate.
He added me to his contacts as 'boot and rally'...have you ever been more proud to be related to me?
I can't wait to tell mom.
She ripped her shorts off and yelled "VAGINA TIME!"
Randomize
