im 80% sure the guy across from me is taking pictures of my legs
Just ran to the store on my way to the office to buy Diet Coke...the guy in front of me let me cut because it was 4 more minutes until 8am, so he wouldn't be able to purchase his vodka. I love Wisconsin
BROstal carolina. Watching a boy drinking rum and coke out of a cup of noodle empty cup.
would it be subtle enough if I played birthday sex on repeat while I may or may not be stripping?
how the fuck is Katelyn 5'1" and 85 lbs and she tackled a bouncer to the ground?
Breathalizer & tazer party did not go as casually as expected.
You told me my blanket felt like ground beef.
most desperate stoner moment might have been when we filled the bong up with pond water
desperate times, desperate measures
my drivers license is super glued to my shoulder and im to hung over to get it off come and help me
Sex and sushi don't even sound good right now... I might be on my death bed. To my Liz, I leave my extensive movie collection and my drinking supplies. To Olive I leave my car. Cause every Scottish terrier needs a 2010 Camaro.
No seriously you guys are gonna get arrested
Do me a favor I want you to reach down the front of your pants and underwear and just feel around for a while... if you happen to find your balls then join us
Tell me why i'm looking through my medical records and the last thing it said about my labor was 'vagina was explored'!?
he’s basically the devil with a fuck boy hair cut and chlamydia
Thanks for not letting me choke to death on my vomit last night
Thank you for attempting to organize my DVDs in chronological and alphbetical order
That’s all I need in life: vibrators, butt plugs, strawberry lube, and sour gummies
Randomize
