Dork........ .......... .. . ...... ........... .. . ... ...... .. . .... ..... .. .... ... .......... .... . . ..... Yeah its morse code, no big deal
Did you know Kal Penn works at the white house? That's almost white castle.
I'll let you put expensive food in me, but really, not much else.
Do you reaalllllly want to put "porn editor" on your resume?
So Jesus turned water into wine. So what? I once turned a whole student loan into natty light. Your move holy man.
the only thing i can think of after seeing avatar is "when are they gonna make avatar porn?"
So my boyfriend is on his way over and there is no time to wash the sheets from when I had his roommate over earlier. Put them in the dryer with a damp bounce sheet. Win?
This is a whole new level of slut for you....do they smell ok?
just took my birth control pill with a shamrock shake. happy st. patrick's day
i spelled "betch" that way on purpose, don't question my abilities as a drunk texter
You. Me. A bottle of Vodka. The wilderness.
I'm a busy girl. All I wanted was noncommittal sex a few times a week
This would be a good time to bring up the fact that my spider-man fork is MIA
idk but i can hear her singing "Call Me Maybe" really slowly and emotionally in the shower right now
Tim is a child that you physically can't love because he makes it hard for you to even find anything redeeming about him so you debate leaving him forever at the gas station.
So it's official...my sex life has improved since Pokemon came out...
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