wow wtf my bar tab was 80 dollars
IT WAS DOLLAR BEER NIGHT
I think jizz is working it's way to becoming my number 1 food source.
you have no chance. her best friend is a human abstinence poster.
i drank out of a bidet.
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i think if i got caught drinking at work i could get away with it if i started crying and saying my cat just died. as long as i'm confident.
I found him in his pink and white boxer out side the dorm hall and the only thing he said was "it wouldn't let me in"
My condoms might be a little big for you but hey, a big sweater is better than no sweater at all when it's cold right?
He sat down, pointed at my Converse and said "I have the same shoes." I thought "I'm going to have sex with you by the end of the night."
I think my ph in my vagina is actually off from the lack of sex I've had this break compared to finals week.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Let's just says his mouth writes a lot of checks that his penis just can't cash. Don't waste your time.
Son of a bitch took my liquid eyeliner
Was he a virgin!? DID YOU TAKE A GUY'S VIRGINITY ON MY FLOOR!?
After we finished having phone sex he proceeded to serenade me with Ave Maria. It was magical.
just saw those girls we met the other night. i happen to be wearing a bunny suit and driving your smart car. i think its safe to say thats a no go situation.
All I heard was "sit on my face" "okay" and muffled screaming. I'm still disappointed.
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