doug butabi!
steve butabi!
hotties wanna shake it
last night i was so high that when a homeless person asked me for a dollar, i responded: dolla dolla bill ya'll.
there is cereal in my wallet where all the cash used to be.
just gave him road head on the way home IN A SNOW STORM..good thing we didn't crash or I'd be dead. I DIDN'T HAVE MY SEATBELT ON
clearly you have your priorities straight
You were passed out on the chair and when I asked you if you were okay you looked up and said "I'm fine, I was just pretending for a picture" then passed out again.
i'm using salt from the free peanuts to stop the bleeding.
Im done having sex . he ruined it for me after he said " can we use my penis as a shovel ?"
dude, you were feeling up her boob for 20 minutes in front of the guy she was hitting on because you and her had an argument over who had bigger boobs.
hey man, it was for science okay.
Opened my purse to realize I have someone else's birth certificate. What happens to me in college?
After 7 months of nothing.. shall we throw your vagina a party? as its reinstatement into society?
Let's have sex in an apple orchard
When you get this divorce finalized we're going to mid evil times AND pirate dining adventure. We're gonna find you a couple of real men and make them joust/swashbuckle for your affection. My treat.
These are the last few fleeting sober moments of the day for me. If there is anything you need me to do today, please tell me now
it was weird i started the party in just my underwear and woke up in my clothes
4 of us. Guys and girls. Were sitting there discussing the passed out half naked Brit girl on the floor. She is no longer the international woman of mystery.
Randomize
