I either just heard my neighbors having sex or she really agreed with whatever he was talking about.
If we keep treating our bodies like amusement parks we have another 10 years left at best.
when she said she would show you her other bow, she ment she wanted you to bend her over and see the tattoo on her lower back you idiot
the entire lecture hall sighed when the prof announced that there will be an exam on 4/20
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
we had you propped up in a chair and fed you donuts. i've never seen you happier
This morning is cloudy with a high chance of vomiting all over the dentist. Stay tuned for further updates.
I vaguely remember chanting "USA" at the pool when we were talking to the Frenchies.
We were pointing at fat people and chanting USA.
The amount of alcohol I'm going to consume on my birthday is directly proportional to the amount of shit I've had to put up with this past year. Which is a lot.
It's basically the same plan, only step one gets revised to "look hot enough that he forgets I fucked his roommate"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Two shots of gin says this is gonna be a sloppy lab write up.
Dude. If I met a dinosaur right now. we'd totally be on the same page. Brainwaves and shit.
It was Thanksgiving sex. I was thankful for it. Need I say more?
I had sex with a boy who lives in a closet, that's like having sex with Harry Potter, right?
I legitimately just had to leave work because I am too hungover. The front office ladies keep making fun of me.
He ate me out for my sailor moon manga and I gave him a blowjob for his Devilman manga. Pretty sweet deal imo
Randomize